Hey hi it's me, Jess
Oh man, where to begin. I guess lets start with March 16 2020, the day everything shut down. March 16th, if you somehow don't know, that was the day the governor of New Jersey announced the state was going into lockdown due to Covid-19. To keep it simple, if you were a non-essential worker you had to stay home and follow the CDC guidelines to help flatten the curve. So like the thousands of people across the country I was out of work. Great.
Little fun fact I worked two, kind of three jobs. My main job was working at a makeup bar in my town taking makeup clients (read my bio please and thanks), waitressing and bartending, as well as focusing (or at least trying to) on my free lance makeup artist career. Unfortunately, my free lance career always took the back seat and truly was never where I wanted it to be.
Wait, let me just say this, even though I was terrifed of not working and all the other emotions that came along, I was actually hyped to be home. I def needed a mini break, obviously not a four month break but a break none the less. Honestly it was kind of nice to reconnect with myself and really think about the things I did and did not want.
Let me tell you, quarantine was fun, emotional, but fun. I got to binge watch my favortie shows and fall in love with Uhtred of Bebbanburg from The Last Kingdom. I would also wake up and practice yoga, I would cook all of my meals, I would read, and sometimes (all the time) pig out and be lazy. I truly was living the high life on unemployment.
As amazing as all of that sounds being home pushed me in a corner and made me face emotions I was not really ready to face. I thought long and hard about the things I was doing before quarentine and if it was something that was serving a greater purpose into my future, into my career. I know what I want and what kind of career I wanted to have so why wasn't I chasing after it? I saw so many of my peers going out and getting exactly what they wanted, so why wasn't I? Why was I so afraid to put myself out there?
I know why and I have always known. I was scared. I was also tight on money so naturally, I focused on my other two jobs so I can make money. When you're just starting out as a free lance makeup artist it is all about networking. You want to work with as many photgraphers and models as you can, but it is not always a paid gig. It is mainly TFP, which means Trade For Photo. Between working both jobs, I would have to book photoshoots on a day off and normally when that day came I did not want to be working. I also would say no to some oppourtunites because I did not believe in myself or my capabilities. I would think, "Oh no I can't do that" and then use the excuse "I am working" when I knew I could just request off. So, where do I go from here?
After alot of self evaluation and crying I had to say goodbye to one of my jobs, the makeup bar. That was a place I called home for so many years and I knew I had to leave to focus on my own career. So here I am, sitting on the floor in my room surrounded by pictures of my work and my makeup kit thinking of what to do next. I threw it all away and bought a professional camera and ordered a bunch of new products creating a new makeup kit.
Lets fast forward to September 21st, where am I now? I still actually do not know but I know where I am headed. I initially bought a camera to reteach and give myself a whole new technique of applying makeup. But, that turned into a new love and passion. Since I taught (and still have so much to learn) the basics of photography and beauty photoshoots I kind of turned into a one woman show. Booking all my photoshoots, doing makeup and hair as well as taking the photos and retouching I was able to really find myself as an artist. I found Jess Hazuda. I found a little part of myself that I was missing for so long. For the first time in 5 years I know exactly where I am headed and how I am going to get there. I am still waitressing and bartending but I am also saying yes to new opportunities. I am creating work for myself rather than waiting to do it. I am creating the looks and the photos that I want to be known for. I am finally becoming Jess Hazuda Makeup.